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Incredibly Absent
I have been incredibly absent for, well, it must be over a month, because I started uni just over a month ago. I am really, really enjoying it, but juggling 3 subjects, 20 contact hours, work, and fibromyalgia has been challenging. All was good until last week when my current flare up began :(
Unfortunately I’m in more pain than I’ve been in since I started Cymbalta at the end of June last year. On the bright side, it’s great that my fibro is so well managed that pain isn’t much of an issue for me. However, now that it has roared its ugly head, I’m feeling the pain more acutely. I’m also getting the fibro fog which is frustrating when I have so much to learn, but such is life. Luckily I have a brilliant specialist who phoned me within an hour of me leaving a message about having a flare up. She has prescribed me some Tramadol and will check up on me soon. She’s amazing, always goes above and beyond. Here’s hoping it takes the edge off of things!
Anyway, to more positive things. I have handed in my first biology assignment and discovered the amazingness of EndNote for referencing :D I also sat my first mini assessment quiz for chemistry and got 80%. It was just to give us an idea of what we need to work on before the midsemester next Saturday, and was only work 3.33% but I’m still very happy about it. I haven’t done science for 6 years, and as I only did high school in Scotland up to the 2nd last year, I haven’t covered as much content as I’m expected to know. It’s meant a lot of catching up, but I don’t mind hard work.
I’m actually enjoying chem more than I thought that I would, and enjoying bio less. Now that we are moving on to genetics it’s more exciting, but it’s all cellular biology, which while important, doesn’t excite me as much as systems biology. That’s what I’ll be doing next semester though, so I just have to be patient. I also have to be patient and get through statistics. It is boring, and I’m not a big number/computer person, so I’m not enjoying it, but the lecturer is really nice, so at least it is bearable. It also shouldn’t be too hard to pass as it’s 55% assessment based, and 45% final exam, into which we can bring a single, double-sided piece of paper with hand written notes, score! I also get extra time because of the fibro, some time to rest, move and stretch, and some time to allow for days when I might have fibro fog and need a bit longer to find the words etc.
Anyhoo, apart from the flare up life is pretty good. Socially I’m not seeing much of anyone. It’s hard to make friends because our lectures have at least 400 ppl, and everyone is generally a good 4 years younger than me. I’m getting there though, and I already have a social circle outside of uni anyway, so I don’t feel too bad about it. Also, I think because I’m older and have more life experience, I don’t really give a damn about not having someone to sit next to. In fact, the only thing that annoys me is people who don’t know how to shut up, and lecturers who aren’t strict enough to make them do it!
Right, time for some TV catch up. BTW, if anyone with fibro has actually read this far, do you find that you feel sorer if you sit/lie/rest, but then know that you can’t keep moving all the time ad so end up getting frustrated?!
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"But I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person."
Olivia Wilde (via timsdoppelganger)
Too true, too true
(Source: fktrillshiit, via jennaanne01)
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Totally know that feeling!
(Source: memecollection, via smokeporch)
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anatomical cross sections in paper by Lisa Nilsson
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So cute :)
(Source: sesamestreet)
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So I got bored…
and read 100 pages of my Stats textbook. I think that it is safe to say that I a) need a few more shifts at work, and b) need to get back to uni…
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\m/Outside England ‘s Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, it’s parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were £1.40 for cars and £7 for buses.
Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.
The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo’s own responsibility.
The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.
The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.
Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy … is a man who’d apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about £560 per day — for 25 years.
Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over 7 million pounds … and no one even knows his name.
omfg.
Is it wrong to be proud of coming from this City after reading this?
LOL!
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A day in my shoes…
I wish that more people could spend a day in my shoes *sigh* I went on a family holiday between Christmas and New Year. It was a lovely trip, with a technology detox and natural beauty overload. The only problem is, I didn’t want to miss out on anything and so I did too much.
Now, I know that my fibro is nowhere near as bad as some people’s. The fact that I managed to canoe for 2 hours and walk 6km along the beach 3 days later is proof of that, but I still have my challenges and pain, and seep issues. Anyway, I’ve been suffering since we got back. I am so tired, my sleep isn’t quite as good as it was when I first started the melatonin, and I’m sorer than I’ve been for a good few months. Of course, the fact that I managed to mostly keep up on holiday has made my family forget that I’m sick and so my 13yo little sister basically just screamed at me for not doing enough to help clear the kitchen. When I told her that I had done a fair amount, and reminded her that I’m particularly unwell, she didn’t take kindly too it and complained about having been in the kitchen for hours (she wanted to make pasta from scratch).
I would never wish this illness on anyone, but it would be nice if people could get a taste of it to better understand. It’s funny, because I’m grateful for all the life changes it has made me make, and in general, I’m happier than I’v ever been now that I’ve adjusted, but I guess I’m struggling at the moment to see the silver linings. Lack of good sleep doesn’t help, and neither does the anticipation/worry of starting uni full time again in 6 weeks. I really, really want to go back to full time. I miss it so much. I won’t be doing the usual 4 subjects per term, only 3, but I’m still nervous.
I’m also going through a bit of a spiritual development crisis at the moment. 8 months ago I was really into Buddhism and going to class every week, but in November I felt that I wasn’t at the right place, that I had taken all that was relevant for me at that time. For all that people were welcoming, I was a bit annoyed at the administrator who still couldn’t remember my name after nearly a year of going there, and I never felt that they helped me as much as they could have e.g. only members can get recordings of classes, and even although they knew that I couldn’t afford it, they never offered a good alternative, and with my fibro, I find that I need recordings as I can’t take everything in like I used to.
Anyway, a psychic told me that this would happen, that I would move on around this time, and she’s right. I keep being drawn to books about angels etc. and I’m finding myself wanting to develop spiritually and psychically. I would say that I have clairsentient (clear feeling) abilities, and have had a few premonition dreams. Also strange things happen around me, and I’m pretty sure that it’s my godfather who passed over when I was 3, and I want to understand more about the other side. So I’m going to start going to a monthly course. I’m really excited about it. It’s only 2 wees away, but right now that feels like forever away.
Thank goodness my flatmates come back from Canada next week. It’ll be so good to have them back, it’s been so lonely without them, and I know that time will pass faster. I’ll also be less likely to keep coming home. I love my family, but my lil sis is hard work, being a bratty teen, and my mum’s depression can be hard too. I was really looking forward to coming home today, but now that I’m here, I want to be back in my flat, except that I don’t, because it’s too lonely. Oh deary, deary me! Time to suck it up and get an early night!!!
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"
I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.
"http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2011/12/my-new-year-wish.html (via neil-gaiman)
Happy New Year! Here’s wishing everyone a successful, happy and healthy 2012 :) xo
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"Stay hungry. Stay foolish"
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I graduated with an Associate of Fine Arts (Dance) today :D Take that fibro
I also got my letter of acceptance to the Bachelor of Biomedical Science Program at UQ, and my citizenship ceremony date! So much is happening at once, thank goodness I had time to fit in a 3 hour nap this afternoon
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Sorry, non-happy vent coming up…
People suck, really, really suck. Well, not everyone, but right now I’m in a “fuck the world, it’s change, and all the curve balls that it keeps throwing at me” mood. I really thought that I had found someone that I could have a future with, and now that’s pretty much just been pissed over, the day before what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life = graduation. :’(
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Why is it that I always need to talk when everyone is busy? I know that people want to be there for me and say that they will be there for me, but in reality, it never works out that way. Even although I’m home with my family I can’t even talk to mm tonight as she is too exhausted :(
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Heehee, well what do you expect with a storm like that going on?!
(Source: youknowyourescottishwhen)
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